Do divorce proceedings cross state lines, and is this legal? Is it legal to get?

You need a lawyer. It is not clear what you are saying here. But I assume you are saying your ex-husbands friends are accusing you of having a dirty home that is unfit for children, and using drugs (you say they hid something in a shoe that you flushed). Get a lawyer. If you don't do drugs offer to take a drug test to prove it. Then request that your husband also be required to take a drug test.